The path that I have travelled, has been full of life experiences that I never thought I would have, some really unpleasant experiences and some absolutely off the wall happy as anything, in your face, ecstatic experiences. My wish is that you will allow me to share these experiences with you. This is our new friendship and I hope you take it with the sincerity it is coming with. I will always be honest with you and through my music and performances share the deep feeling of the words I sing.

My first Loving hand of guidance

You see, my Nanna Kerrigan, who would have celebrated her 90th birthday today, loved lyrics, we would spend many a time listening to different singers and discussing the feeling behind the words that the singer gave and the emotion it evoked within us, I would go through her collection of CD’s and we would listen and debate on what was good what was awful and at the heart of it, what made us sit and listen. 

Sitting and listening is a gift, one that I took for granted because it was most definitely a gift my nan was given. She was a great listener and in all honesty my journey of my true self starts with this beautiful woman in my life. My first loving hand of guidance, the sound board of all my fears, the one whose answer was unique to every question, and her absolute knowledge that I was mostly to have faith in my own vision and my own gift. She believed, as do I, that everyone has a gift to share with the world, mine was singing and seeing the good in everyone I meet. 

The Inhibited Extrovert

I am a talker, a communicator, I make no excuses for it, those that know me, love me and I am fondly referred to as Chatty Cathy now by some dear friends. My Nan knew I was an extrovert, outgoing, loud, playful, a performer, but she also knew I was sensitive, I could pick up on atmospheres, emotions, wherever I went and as a child it made me feel inhibited, and alongside lots of negative affirmations about myself, I started to gain a lack of confidence, thank goodness I discovered music, it was my go-to, my safe place to be myself, the stage was always been my friend and music my master.

The good old 1980’s though, a time of prosperity, greed and anarchy, not that I was old enough to know that at the time, but I was met with lots of resistance when I talked about my dream to be a dancer, a singer, a songwriter. It was explained to me many times that I was too fat, thin, loud, loved my family too much, didn’t have any money, not good enough, lived on cloud nine, and many, many more reasons as to why I would not be able to do singing, music or dance as a career, and I know I am not the only person that has ever faced this type of resistance.

Looking back these “throw away” comments made my perceived ambitions bigger than Ben Nevis and Snowdon put together. I didn’t want to be “famous” but I was dragged into the ideas that others thought being a singer/musician/songwriter meant. I just wanted to sing and make a room full of people happy, pull them from their 9 to 5 job mentality and into a Saturday night and in time I wanted to record music, hopefully my own, that they could listen to in their own time and chat about with friends and family. That was what I wanted. That was what I was going to do.

If music was my salvation, my saviour from all those barriers that people were putting up in front of me, then music would be the saviour for many others, I was sure of it and that is what I clung on to.

The Light that Guided Me

My Nan is the first of several mentors that I have been blessed with, (I’m a little slow on taking cues when I should hahahaha), and the reason why my first debut album of original songs is called “Wings To Fly” is to honour all those wonderful, insightful, sharing, loving, outstanding people who have given their time to mould me into the artist I have become, they are the reason why I have been able to do this album, these “Earth Angels” lifted me above the noise of the nay sayers, the doubters, dare I say it… the haters.

I was given the gift through my Nanna Kerrigan, to remember to listen to that inner voice, and let me tell you, I did not heed those words straight away, they have sat in my heart patiently reminding me to listen to those who have championed me, and to listen to what my heart says to do.

“I know now Nan, can you believe it? I am doing it,”

It took what some would say a life time… over 30 years to get to this part of my life that I knew was meant to be. Isn’t that a life well lived so far? I am amazed when I look back that I did it. Now I am discovering what was always there and listening to the beat of my own beautiful thoughts and sharing them joyously with those who are like minded and want to sing with me, dance with me and cry with me.

This website, this blog, my first debut original album is the beginning of a new chapter for me and it will pay tribute to all those that got me through my last chapter and then on to those that help me push through to this new one, I am excited beyond words. 

And so…

I am going to share my stories with you, good and bad, and my experiences of my life as a performer and singer, my stories of my personal mountains that I have overcome, and I am sharing in hopes that we can relate and maybe share with each other our hopes and our dreams.

This post I dedicate to my beautiful, wonderful, marvellous Nanna Kerrigan, otherwise known as Nanna Sheila, Nan, Mrs Kerrigan (She was a nursery nurse teacher), Mrs K and many other loving names by many people who knew her. I hope you are having your half pint of Irish Stout in heaven with grandad and your brothers, daughter, great-grandson, great-daughter and many many friends who have gone home with you too. We will all be coming home at some point, until then I will raise a glass in your name and sing happy birthday to you in my heart I know you can hear me. I may sing it on line, so others can hear it too!

You have definitely taught me to listen to myself and I can truly say that; I am a woman, a beautiful, strong, outgoing, outspoken, laugh out loud, brave as brave can be woman and I am here ready as I now have my Wings To Fly…. Thank you!

Lets have some fun together.